365 Days of Maya - Day 84 - Well Baby Maya

Just across our home is the Greenboro Community Centre and on Thursdays they have a Well Baby Clinic. This is open to babies from 0-3 months and you can have them weighed and speak to the nurses available. It's so great because you get to meet new moms and share stories. I've been having poop issues - green poop issues to be exact. My left boob produces a lot more milk and as a result Maya has been getting more foremilk hence the occasional green poo. The nurse told me there was nothing wrong with the occasional green poo and suggested I pump for a few minutes before nursing. Maya also weighed in at 13 pounds 5 ounces.
I met another mom who had just been told that she wasn't producing enough milk and her baby wasn't gaining as much weight as he should be. I spoke to her for while trying to console her. She told me how she had trouble nursing with her first child and was hoping she didn't have problems the second time around. She was in tears over not feeding her child enough and as I watched her cry I knew exactly how she felt. I've come to realise that along with the immense joys of motherhood comes the burden of guilt. You don't always feel it but it's lurking in the background waiting to pounce on you, fill your mind with doubt and your eyes with tears. I wanted to give Maya a natural, drug free home birth and ended up having an emergency C-section with antibiotics, epidurals, pitocin, painkillers and more antibiotics. I remember being so heartbroken because I felt like my body had let me down and I couldn't do what was best for my child. But as time went on I realised Maya and I were doing alright and the guilt wore off. I shared this experience with her and we walked together for a while on our way home.