I never realised how much it meant having Frankie home with me on the weekends. He was away most of the day playing volleyball at Hope and Maya spent all day SCREAMING. Not crying just screaming. And every time I put her down she screamed some more. So I had to hold her all day. Her screaming was so loud and honestly was the most annoying sound on earth. I felt like I was going to go insane. When Frankie came home I handed her off to him and jumped in the shower for God knows how long. I felt like I could get in the car and keep driving and never ever ever come back. Just typing these words and looking back at how I reacted I feel so silly. But in that moment I felt insane. Before I had her I used to meditate for at least an hour a day and it kept me so grounded and calm. I haven't been meditating and as a result I'm reacting more. So a nice long meditation later I felt so much lighter. As I rocked her to sleep I shared my feelings with her and said "All you wanted was for mama to hold you. Now what's so bad about that?" Seriously, what was so horrible about having to hold her for one day? Now when she screams for fun I scream along with her and she finds it hysterical. It's the cutest thing ever to hear her laugh when I scream.
