Saturday, April 19, 2014

17/52

You little devil you. On Monday you surely broke some kind of record for the number of meltdowns had in a 2 hour span. All because we were at the museum with your friend Jonathan and you had to share your mama with him. I found myself getting sucked into your vortex of misery but thankfully I chose to take a deep breath and hold my own. I was able to tend to your emotional needs without riding your roller coaster ride of (bat shit) crazy. Jonathan and I had a fantastic time, as you had meltdown after meltdown. I didn't feel drained of energy; nor did I feel the desire to ring your little neck. I was able to comfort you, give you space when you needed it and not resent you for being a crazy toddler. The second we got out of the museum you were all mischief and giggles once again. I can not even begin to imagine how confusing and overwhelming your emotions must seem to you. And how poorly equipped you are to deal with them. I can see now just how important my own handling of a situation is in teaching you how to cope with your emotional ups and downs. I look back at all the times I didn't know any better and chose to mirror your own emotional state; instead of holding my own. Sorry little bubba, but being a patient and loving mama takes a whole lot of practice. Something tells me you'll give me plenty of opportunity to keep practicing. You little devil you.

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