365 Days of Maya - Day 159-165

Psychedelics was the theme of our day. I was enjoying a cup of coffee on the couch when I noticed my husband had been watching a video on our laptop. Clicked on it and it was Terence McKenna talking about one of his trips. Went on Green Wedding Shoes and they had a Psychedelic Wedding Inspiration blog post. Started sorting through a box of hand-me-down clothes from my sister-in-law Rebecca and found this gorgeous trippy dress. Added my gorgeous equally trippy bedspread that I bought in India to create this image. 

And here's a quote from the great Terence McKenna - "The syntactical nature of reality, the real secret of magic, is that the world is made of words. And if you know the words that the world is made of, you can make of it whatever you wish."
Terence McKenna

Maya looking super excited about starting dinner. How freakin' gross does that mush of peas look??? *Gag* I added some pureed pears to the mix to make it a bit sweet so Maya would get used to the taste. I plan on reducing the amount of fruit over the coming weeks so she can slowly get used to the taste of peas. God I hate peas! Oh and how cute does her reusable napkin look? Purchased here (thanks Aunt Norma!).

Our niece Elliott turned 1! I remember holding her when she was just a few weeks old and she was so content sleeping in my arms. Maya was a tiny little baby in my belly. Now here we are..Elliott is 1 years old today and Maya is 5 months old. I did my best to try and snuggle with Elliott but two swift squirms and she was out of my grasp and half way across the room playing with her friends. And I thought to myself..how long before Maya is too busy to snuggle with me? *sigh*

Maya has many expressions but this little one is my second favourite (my most favourite will be shared as soon as I can capture it). This is the look I get when she is happy to see me. She is rapidly losing hair and I find it so funny!

Maya recently grew out of her infant size prefolds and started wearing Premium size Indian unbleached prefolds. They are massive and so adorable!! She should grow into them in a few weeks....I hope.

Ah this photo. My husband took this photo and I was so angry at him for taking it. I am currently carrying 30 pounds of "extra" weight. I've been 5'9" and 125 pounds most of my adult life so let's just say that not being thin has been a huge challenge. 90% of my clothes don't fit me. I have one pair of pants that fit and my maternity pants sort of fit but they slide half way down my bum all the time. On days that I am enlightened, feeling beautiful and loving myself is effortless but most days I look in the mirror and cringe just a little bit. When I saw this photo I yelled at my husband "why on earth did you include me in the photo?? Couldn't you just zoom into Maya??" to which he said "But you look so happy and beautiful I had to include you". When I first saw this photo through the eyes of vanity and deep insecurity I saw extra weight, a serious case of fat face, ugly clothes, hair that hasn't been combed or washed in days and bangs that are too long and pinned to the side. I owe it to myself to see myself through the eyes of love. I am raising a daughter and I owe it to her to love myself. 
I see a mother who is happy. I see a woman who grew a baby and has dedicated the last 5 months raising a happy and healthy child. 
The world is so much more beautiful and perfect through the eyes of love.