Friday, January 13, 2012

366 Days of Maya - Day 278


Not really on a timeout but it sorta looks like it, doesn't it? 

I've always been fascinated by the way Canadians raise their children. It's massively different from the authoritative style of Indian parenting. I was lucky to have a mother that was very laid back but she was still an Indian mother. Parents here use timeouts and take the time to explain why certain behaviours are unacceptable. In India, it's "do as I say or else..". I remember my grandma twisting my ear so far I could barely move or the time she threw my great-grandma's walking stick at me and it broke in half (I ducked and it hit the door thankfully). Once I came home way past my curfew and lets just say the broom was in tatters when it was all over. It's perfectly normal to beat the living crap of your kids and by Canadian standards this would definitely be considered abusive parenting. But in India, this is so utterly normal and I can honestly say that this occassional ass kicking really wasn't all that bad. And there are no physical or emotional scars. It was humiliating but because society told me it was totally normal I got over it very quickly.
Having said all that, I'd like to add that this is not going to be my style of parenting. Absolutely not. Beating another human being is simply not right. PERIOD.

Frankie and I have talked about this a lot. Even before Maya came along, we talked about how we would teach our children to be good human beings. We dreamed of the sort of child we wanted to raise; one that was capable of unconditional love, one that lived life from a more enlightened perspective, free & open & in tune with his or her free will. And then we realised that we were no where close to any of those things, we weren't doing anything in particular to realise those qualities  in ourselves. So our journey began. One that lead us to meditation, to giving up cable, to taking up photography, to reading more, to laughing more, to letting go of fear, to self-awareness and change. We're both still carrying baggage but we are determined to lead by example and so the journey continues. 
Our Maya with her big soulful eyes is observing us and feels us so intuitively. She already loves unconditionally, she is already living life from an enlightening perspective, she is already in tune with her free will. We're so blessed to have this magic baby.

1 comment:

Vasu said...

I think all of us in India are used to negative conditioning :) but yes that would not be the way I would raise my kid either ! :) btw lil miss darling looks like she is sitting on her throne here!